During my exchange in UBC, Canada, I had run into an embarrassment where I did not know how to responds to the topic of homosexual. That was during one of the pre-project discussions when we were trying to get familiar with the group members. The guy I was talking to suddenly says, “No, I am not living in school. My boyfriend and I rent an apartment nearby.” I was a bit shocked at that time, and did not know how to respond. I tried to twist the conversation to another topic and pretended I feel nothing strange about what he said just now. I was not sure whether my behavior was proper and for the rest of the conversation, I tried to observe whether he felt offended by my ignorance. Luckily, he seemed not. Nevertheless, for the rest of the project, I treated him with great care when the conversations went into topic such as Valentine’s day or boyfriend/girlfriend. I cannot stop by thinking, what should I say or behave when I face the same topic again when go to work later?
To be frank, I did not have any problem with the fact that one was homosexual; indeed, I was a bit curious since I never met any homosexual couples before. However, as an Asian, I never heard people talk about her/his homosexual partner in public. The topic seemed to be sensitive and private to my knowledge. I know in BC, Canada, homosexuality was protected by law and people accepted them naturally. However, even sometimes in US, the most freedom country, we still heard that homosexuality was against by some religions or the older generation. But the westerns seemed to be better at observing whether people were open to the topic or should avoid it during conversation. In contrast, Asians were trying not to mention it all the time. But how long can we continue to ignore the topic?
Hi Cangming,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your intercultural situation that you encountered during your exchange in UBC, Canada. I think the response on the topic of homosexuality will vary in different countries. In some countries, their cultures permit and accept homosexuality, thus the people there are more open and feel natural about it. On the other hand, certain cultures do not accept that, typically the Asians. As such, people will become uncomfortable communicating with one another. Nonetheless, it is always important to have good intercultural communication though it has always been a great challenge. Perhaps you can take the first step by researching and understanding the culture of the destinated country before embarking on your next exchange trip or holiday so that you can prepare yourself in advance.
Regards
Kent
Hi Cang Ming,
ReplyDeleteYour post reflects the degree of openness of various societies. Indeed Asian culture tends to be more conservative and traditional which I believe is due to the fact that family (father, mother and children) is still widely seen as a basic unit of society. As a result, any mutation to the family unit is seen as creating disharmony to the society. However, I feel that is a matter of time when homosexuality is eventually accepted in Asian culture.
Quoting from Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew:
“Homosexuality is already accepted in China. It’s a matter of time before it’s accepted here.”
With regards,
Kar Liang
Hello Cang Ming,
ReplyDeletethe issue of homosexuality is a delicate manner, especially in Asian culture. However, while taking a sociology module last semester, I have learned that homosexuality was generally accepted in early Asian context. This was due to strong feelings of patriarchy and men being more receptive to one another as a result.
I personally feel that homosexuals have a basic right to humanity just like anyone else. Many may argue that homosexuality is a choice, but it has also been attributed to one's genetic makeup. If even MM Lee has opened up to reason, I believe anyone should be more receptive to the homosexual community. I do not believe any Asian value roots itself from discrimination and prejudice, and the homosexual community should be suppressed by the public majority.
Shoving it under the rug doesn't make it go away. The social stigma on homosexuals will only make matters worse. I've left a link below to show the extent of public pressure on homosexuals in South Korea as an example.
http://kimchisoju.wordpress.com/2008/10/16/kim-ji-hoo/
Warm Regards,
Eric Li
Hey Cang Ming,
ReplyDeleteI meant to say in the 2nd paragraph that the homosexual community should NOT be suppressed by the public majority. Pardon my errata!
Warm Regards,
Eric li
Hi, Cangming,
ReplyDeleteI think this is quite an interesting sharing. The period of student exchange program is always full of cultural shocks, especially for a person from eastern world going to western world.
Due to the huge difference of eastern and western cultures, people's attitudes are totally different. Perhaps for Americans, they have been living in a fairly freedom environment since their birth. Therefore, they would speak out their sexual orientation without feeling fear or shame. Moreover, others will not response with prejudice as they feel usual about this. Such a phenomenon is based on the respect between each other.
However, things are totally different in Asia as our culture and thoughts are less freedom compared with Americans. We may "over-hilight" it and gossip a lot about it. Even worse, it will affect our judge towards that person, which is definitely unessential. But one good thing is that such kind of topic is more and more acceptable for our generation now. Anyway, I am always thinking that how should one dominate others' thoughts. One has no reason to intervene others' way of living. Maybe we should always respect others' way of living first then talk.
Best regards,
Zhang Jiao
Hello Cang Ming,
ReplyDeleteI do have simliar experience as you did. In fact, the person I encountered was a Singaporean! He was an ex-collegue of mine who was engaged to an American. Unlike many Asians, he was pretty open to the matter. He mentioned about his fiance sometimes, and openly posted their photos on social websites.
At first, it was a little strange being around him. However, I came to know him as pleasant person to be with.
Personally I would agree that Asians generally tend to be more conservative, but yet we should not judge them just because of who they are.
Hi Cangming,
ReplyDeleteSince the people you were with in Canada were rather open about their sexuality, if you didn't know how to react, you could perhaps explain yourself. I am sure they will understand that you, being an Asian, wouldn't know how to react to the conversation even though you are accepting of homosexuals.
This topic in Singapore is particularly sensitive among the religious groups and some sections of the older generation. The younger generation like you and your classmates are more receptive and understanding.
I believe ultimately a person should only be judged for his or her competency at work regardless of race, religion and sexual orientation.
Regards,
Happy